Thea's Diary: Entry 1148 (Mao 2518)
Thou shalt not commit murder.
I've tried sleepin off the events on Greenleaf, but this commandment keeps repeatin in my head. It's there, as plain as Chinese, in Exodus. Does this mean that I've commited myself to an eternity of damnation for my actions? If so, then how did it feel so right at the moment? How is it that the Bible is full of Holy Warriors fightin in God's name? Is that what I am, a Holy Warrior? It felt right "smiting" the evil and deliverin justice, but it also felt good and if I know anything in my soul it's that the only thing worse than takin a life is enjoying takin a life. Plus I don't feel like a Holy Warrior. Most of the warriors in the Bible were fightin to keep or regain their Holy Land, what was I killin for? Why did it seem no different at the time between sightin those men and sightin the Jaguar? Someone not of the earth and woods would probably say somethin about intelligence, feelings, emotions or a soul being what separates men from animals, but I've seen how soulless men can be, and how intelligent and carin animals are. Has God sent me on this path to bring justice into the verse, or have I become another tine in the Devil's pitchfork bringin chaos and death.
Dylan is givin me some time off. I had been lookin forward to spendin some time by myself, grounding myself again with nature, but maybe my time would be better spent at one of the Abbeys for reflection and discussion of God's will with others of faith. Am I to be a Bounty Hunter who is Christian or a Christian who is a Bounty Hunter? Is there even room to be both?
I've tried sleepin off the events on Greenleaf, but this commandment keeps repeatin in my head. It's there, as plain as Chinese, in Exodus. Does this mean that I've commited myself to an eternity of damnation for my actions? If so, then how did it feel so right at the moment? How is it that the Bible is full of Holy Warriors fightin in God's name? Is that what I am, a Holy Warrior? It felt right "smiting" the evil and deliverin justice, but it also felt good and if I know anything in my soul it's that the only thing worse than takin a life is enjoying takin a life. Plus I don't feel like a Holy Warrior. Most of the warriors in the Bible were fightin to keep or regain their Holy Land, what was I killin for? Why did it seem no different at the time between sightin those men and sightin the Jaguar? Someone not of the earth and woods would probably say somethin about intelligence, feelings, emotions or a soul being what separates men from animals, but I've seen how soulless men can be, and how intelligent and carin animals are. Has God sent me on this path to bring justice into the verse, or have I become another tine in the Devil's pitchfork bringin chaos and death.
Dylan is givin me some time off. I had been lookin forward to spendin some time by myself, grounding myself again with nature, but maybe my time would be better spent at one of the Abbeys for reflection and discussion of God's will with others of faith. Am I to be a Bounty Hunter who is Christian or a Christian who is a Bounty Hunter? Is there even room to be both?
posted by Mike at 11:14 AM
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