Thea's Diary: Entry 1147 (Mao 2518)
When bad goes right?
Dear Friend,
Please forgive the ramblin in this letter. My mind is reelin with questions and confusion. The last couple days are mostly a blur now. After huntin we were somehow drugged and carried off. I'm still not really sure what happened. I waited on the food and saw no ill effects on anyone else, but sometime in the night I heard the alarms goin off but just felt like I didn't care. Even as they were carryin us out of our rooms and into the jungle, I didn't care. It was like when mama and papa died, not a thing in the world mattered, except this time it wasn't the pills or the alcohol. Once we came to, we found we were in a cave and Martin wasn't doin too well. I scouted some things out, but couldn't find a way out, but Martin was so bad no one wanted to wait, so Mel went to sweet talk the guards and got us help. Turns out that while they weren't on our side, they were lookin to help. Reckoned they were part of the so-called terrorist group, but I ain't never been an Alliance backer anyhoo. So, they figured they would be able to draw the attention of everyone in this fella's compound with some kinda diversion. I wasn't too excited about this, but it seemed like the only way out. The plan was The Major, Jasmine and me we gonna sneak down around the back and cut him off before he made it to his bunker. My biggest concern wasn't that we could take out the guards, but I just knew in my heart that Jasmine would betray the team somehow and possibly kill the mark. I talked to Major Hong about it and decided to keep her between us. The trip down was easy. The bunker was only moderately guarded. The major showed me a new breathin technique to use while holdin a site. We were each to get the outer guards while Jasmine ran past and took out the machine gunner. I had a beauty of a shot, he had barely hit the ground before I was off to my next position. I could hear more shots from The Major, I figure he needed to take out the tower guards. I had hoped to just sneak passed them. Jasmine was also takin longer than I expected, but after that mean jab she landed on me on the train, I reckoned she could take care of it. Still, I was on my own when our mark started to move. He had four guards with him. I knew it was a long shot, but I had to try and take as many out as I could, as fast as I could. After my flash grenade went off, I squeezed off three quick rounds and landed two. It was better than I would have hoped for goin in, but if I'm goin to cut it with this group I need to do better. In the end I almost blew it. After another volley the others started showin up. I tried to keep him out of the bunker, but missed tryin to tackle him, thankfully Jasmine dropped down in front of him. As I grabbed him and took cover back behind the wall, I heard more people comin into the yard. I looked and saw five guys runnin in, and The Major layin on the ground. I knew I couldn't save him and fend off all these guys, so I just lobbed a grenade. I'm still not sure how it made it there, but it did. When I opened my eyes back up, Jasmine was layin across The Major and shielding him. I have to admit to being more than a bit confused by her sudden willingness to work as a team. This was nothin like the Jasmine I had spent the last few weeks with. The cavalry finally arrived in the shuttle, but as I was tryin to get him loaded in the bastard stabbed me. I landed a good punch on him, if we hadn't needed him alive I would have slit his throat for that. Again, Jasmine helped and then Dylan finally took him off my hands. I her Mel shoutin somethin fierce as I was grabbin our gear. Jamine went to the bunker, then the next thing I know I hear a Londinium shattering explosion and see her body flying through the air. I found out later that we had been locked down and she took out the system with the blast. I went over to her body and right before she died she pulled somethin out of her arm and gave it to me. I'm not sure what it is, and I haven't even told Mel about it yet.
I think after all of this I need a few days to walk with nature and clear my head. Killin a man somehow sticks with you longer than killin an animal. Sure, I've wanted to kill plenty of folk, and come close a few times, but this was different. I also don't understand the sudden change in Jasmine. She'd spent the last few weeks proving herself all kinds of untrustworthy, just to come through in the end? What if this means I was wrong about her? I know in my heart I wasn't, but people don't suddenly change like that do they? But I reckon I did after mama and papa's deaths. What would papa really think of me if he saw me now? I'm doin better than I was right after, but this still ain't livin. Hell, I'm twitchier than a tourist on Jiangyin. That ain't the way I was raised. Back on Lilac the only thing you knew you could count on when the Reaver alarms went off was your family and friends. So what's it mean now that someone like her could care more about the team than me? When the shit came down, all I could think of was what was the best plan to keep my own hide in one piece.
I reckon I'm gonna need a few days to sort some of this out. I hope Dylan can do without me. The last job is done, and the ship is runnin fine, so I should have a little down time comin my way. I know I swore off the stuff, but I could probably also use a drink. Small steps Thea. Small steps.
Dear Friend,
Please forgive the ramblin in this letter. My mind is reelin with questions and confusion. The last couple days are mostly a blur now. After huntin we were somehow drugged and carried off. I'm still not really sure what happened. I waited on the food and saw no ill effects on anyone else, but sometime in the night I heard the alarms goin off but just felt like I didn't care. Even as they were carryin us out of our rooms and into the jungle, I didn't care. It was like when mama and papa died, not a thing in the world mattered, except this time it wasn't the pills or the alcohol. Once we came to, we found we were in a cave and Martin wasn't doin too well. I scouted some things out, but couldn't find a way out, but Martin was so bad no one wanted to wait, so Mel went to sweet talk the guards and got us help. Turns out that while they weren't on our side, they were lookin to help. Reckoned they were part of the so-called terrorist group, but I ain't never been an Alliance backer anyhoo. So, they figured they would be able to draw the attention of everyone in this fella's compound with some kinda diversion. I wasn't too excited about this, but it seemed like the only way out. The plan was The Major, Jasmine and me we gonna sneak down around the back and cut him off before he made it to his bunker. My biggest concern wasn't that we could take out the guards, but I just knew in my heart that Jasmine would betray the team somehow and possibly kill the mark. I talked to Major Hong about it and decided to keep her between us. The trip down was easy. The bunker was only moderately guarded. The major showed me a new breathin technique to use while holdin a site. We were each to get the outer guards while Jasmine ran past and took out the machine gunner. I had a beauty of a shot, he had barely hit the ground before I was off to my next position. I could hear more shots from The Major, I figure he needed to take out the tower guards. I had hoped to just sneak passed them. Jasmine was also takin longer than I expected, but after that mean jab she landed on me on the train, I reckoned she could take care of it. Still, I was on my own when our mark started to move. He had four guards with him. I knew it was a long shot, but I had to try and take as many out as I could, as fast as I could. After my flash grenade went off, I squeezed off three quick rounds and landed two. It was better than I would have hoped for goin in, but if I'm goin to cut it with this group I need to do better. In the end I almost blew it. After another volley the others started showin up. I tried to keep him out of the bunker, but missed tryin to tackle him, thankfully Jasmine dropped down in front of him. As I grabbed him and took cover back behind the wall, I heard more people comin into the yard. I looked and saw five guys runnin in, and The Major layin on the ground. I knew I couldn't save him and fend off all these guys, so I just lobbed a grenade. I'm still not sure how it made it there, but it did. When I opened my eyes back up, Jasmine was layin across The Major and shielding him. I have to admit to being more than a bit confused by her sudden willingness to work as a team. This was nothin like the Jasmine I had spent the last few weeks with. The cavalry finally arrived in the shuttle, but as I was tryin to get him loaded in the bastard stabbed me. I landed a good punch on him, if we hadn't needed him alive I would have slit his throat for that. Again, Jasmine helped and then Dylan finally took him off my hands. I her Mel shoutin somethin fierce as I was grabbin our gear. Jamine went to the bunker, then the next thing I know I hear a Londinium shattering explosion and see her body flying through the air. I found out later that we had been locked down and she took out the system with the blast. I went over to her body and right before she died she pulled somethin out of her arm and gave it to me. I'm not sure what it is, and I haven't even told Mel about it yet.
I think after all of this I need a few days to walk with nature and clear my head. Killin a man somehow sticks with you longer than killin an animal. Sure, I've wanted to kill plenty of folk, and come close a few times, but this was different. I also don't understand the sudden change in Jasmine. She'd spent the last few weeks proving herself all kinds of untrustworthy, just to come through in the end? What if this means I was wrong about her? I know in my heart I wasn't, but people don't suddenly change like that do they? But I reckon I did after mama and papa's deaths. What would papa really think of me if he saw me now? I'm doin better than I was right after, but this still ain't livin. Hell, I'm twitchier than a tourist on Jiangyin. That ain't the way I was raised. Back on Lilac the only thing you knew you could count on when the Reaver alarms went off was your family and friends. So what's it mean now that someone like her could care more about the team than me? When the shit came down, all I could think of was what was the best plan to keep my own hide in one piece.
I reckon I'm gonna need a few days to sort some of this out. I hope Dylan can do without me. The last job is done, and the ship is runnin fine, so I should have a little down time comin my way. I know I swore off the stuff, but I could probably also use a drink. Small steps Thea. Small steps.
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